I have an Inkling

Relief

Yep, another post about motherhood- get used to it. For the next year or so of my life it will be my life- see I am now officially a stay at home mum.

Why relief do you say? Well because as I sit here and write, by beautiful baby is sleeping at the end of the corridor after spending her 2nd day at home- quite successfully I might say. The Husband and I seem to be getting the hang of it- still with 'L' plates on though.

We had our very first adventure outside the house today too- which we negotiated without a hiccup.

Relief also because I have managed to get the hang of breast feeding.

She gets her little tummy full, then falls asleep without much fuss at all, then wakes for the next feed- a very different experience from day 3 in the hospital.

That was a nightmare. I never expected it to all go easy but I was really distressed then.
You see on day 3, baby wants to be fed, but mum's milk has not come in. I had colostrum, which is good for bub- but not enough to fill my darling daughter's belly to contentment.

What this meant was that from about 10pm to 4am, she screamed. Nothing I could do would settle her. I'd feed her, rock her put her to bed, change her nappy, but she just would not settle. I was deprived of sleep and feeling like a total failure.

Eventually the midwife came in and took her to the nursery at 4am saying I needed some sleep. After she left I just lay there in my empty room and cried. When the midwife came back an hour later saying my daughter still had not settled I was shattered. Even trained professionals could not settle my child. But told me 3 other babies were doing the same thing. She then suggested they could give her a 'supplemental' one off feed of formula to fill her belly and give me another 4 hours of sleep.

Emotionally distraught I agreed- knowing it was the best for both her and me- but feeling utterly like a failure.

Then a miracle happened. The next morning as I collected her from the nursery and took her back to be fed, there was a change- MILK!

That day, she fed and slept, fed and slept. She was a little grizzly but it was a momentous change from the night before.

In the clear of day I realised I was not really a failure, that this was completely normal. Just about every new mum experiences it and it does not reflect badly on you in any way.

So I say to all new mums- don't think you're a failure if you can't get your baby to settle/feed well in the first days, or even weeks. It is not failure on your part if you try- it is not a failure to have to suppliment a feed. Just keep trying it will all come good. and if after trying you find you cannot breastfeed- well thats not failure either- some people just cannot do it.
when it comes down to itthe only thing that matters id what works for you and bub.

My daughter has just woken up and needs her feed, so enough for now.

posted by Capital Mum @ 10:55 PM